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Frankly Forty 56, Female, Missouri, USA - First entry!

Jun 2010
3:23 AM EDT

Bride-le my Tongue

I wanna be married.......Sometimes.� Other times I revel�in my�solo status. I feel like I am at an advantage to those who are locked in for life, Forever due us part, at least according to old school standards. My parents have been married for 48 yrs. Out of their 4 children (3boys and 1 girl), I am the only�one (the tom boyish girl)�who has never walked down the aisle. And that TOTALLY SUCKS!

I just terminated a almost 4 yr relationship.�And AGAIN, I thought he was THE ONE.
I thought I was going to skip to my lou and confess my love for this man in front of all my (relieved) family and friends. I imagined hearing a unanimous sigh of relief when the preacher pronounced us as man and wife.........But it was not to be.

I'm hurt and angry. Frankly on the verge of bitterness! I think about all the time I invested in this relationship.� I'm confident at some point, self reflection in relationship mode will be on his to-do list as well.� I refuse to believe that memories we created together will be dismissed as just fleeting thoughts

In the meantime, this single mother is�seeking a duet partner to sing karaoke (with no long term commitment)!!

Tags: dating, humor, marriage, parenting, relationships, single

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mourningcloak 70, Female, New York, USA - 14 entries

Jun 2010
8:18 PM EST

Florida

Trying to get back into the writing thing. Thought this daily diary thing would do it but haven't been very religious about it. I need to express myself. Stretch the brain. My world is getting narrower. I need to write more.

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NoDeadenz 22, Male, New York, USA - 84 entries

Jun 2010
12:34 PM EDT

ungrateful ass kids

I dont own anyone shit not xavier who is a lazy slouch and dj who feels I owe him something. I dont have to do the things I do, I choose to but that shit is�coming to an abrupt halt rite now.On the real Iam tired of taking care of her and her whiny ass baby whom she neglects daily, she attemps to dump him on anyone who is available. Iam bout� about to� transition, and I dont want her to be apart of the process. So what she aint getting along with her boyfriend and has no where to go.Not my problem,not my shit. She doesnt want to get on welfare cause she wrongly assumes that I want to take advantage of her. She has got to fucking go, what is she�doing for me? But running up my rg&e bill eating up everything in site, begging like a panhandler and� irking my fucking damn nerves. None of�the�children want her here, they wish as I do that she would disappear into thin air.

on to a better topic, "we" are getting along great. Yesterday after church we went to his family gathering of course nate� was there. I did feel a little uncomfortable.... Not that I care what others think cuz I dont give a damn. I just wondered whether it disturbed him, he said no so thats the end of that. I got the impression that his family could see that he is happy. Dj and xe enjoyed themeselves, of course dj ate to capacity!lol Good news today the� end is near(divorce) should hear something by thursday.Cant wait til its finally over, the end of a thing is better than its beginning.

I enjoy him alot lot lot lot. So much in common. Ready to start our lives together we have many plans for the future. First order of business for me is to find different living quarters. were currently cohabitating, space is scarce as well as cramped. We need a room with a lock on the door, so we can make it do what it do.

He is a passionate lover,however I will put him to bed. Abstaining�from sex is getting easier, keeping him occupied works most of the time.

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1 comment(s) - 01:04 PM - 07/12/2010

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mrswho 57, Female, North Carolina, USA - 34 entries

Jun 2010
11:55 AM EDT

fathers day weekend

Great weekend with my family.
Why are we not satisfied with the life we have?
Why are we always looking or thinking about what other people have?
I always feel like I search outside for what I think I need or
what I think will make me happy instead of starting at home.

I wish our communication was better. Don't know�how to fix that.
I 've tried everything, he sits there�silent.

The guilt is building, I can feel it�almost every day.

Especially after�a night like last night, you know�every man's�holiday
tradition.��

Sigh............��

��

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GirlWithAPen 28, Female, Indiana, USA - 28 entries

Jun 2010
7:46 PM EDT

"To go on this trip, you either need a bedroll or a passport. We'll explain in the car."

Last year my dad, my mum, and I dropped my brother off at church camp and headed north to Stratford for the Shakespeare Theater Festival. Oddly enough, Daniel prefers going to church camp, rather than joining us on the family getaway. So, this year, we decided to do it again (since we had such a wonderful time last year). Consequently, I'm now typing this from a Comfort Inn just inside the border in the city of Windsor. Hopefully, I'll have something more interesting to add later.
Before dropping Daniel and another girl from my church off at camp, we stopped to eat a Fathers' Day dinner at Johnny Carino's. The conversation bounced around endlessly from topic to topic, including those weird things people do when you try to give them a high five or a knuckle touch (turkey, snail, bull, etc.), whether or not they would bring complimentary bread (I really wanted to know!), and the abnormality of 12 Layer Lasagna (which is what Dad ordered). Surprisingly, I was the only one who brought away a box for my pizza (which I later finished in the car as a light supper).
Soon after leaving the restaurant, we had to stop at a gas station because everyone had A LOT to drink. I stopped counting my Diet Cokes after three. At the gas station, I came out with a tall can of Peace Tea and a package of Twizzlers.
On the rest of the first leg of our journey (leg one was from home to camp, leg two was from camp to Canada), we kept to the road. I got some drawing done for my 4-H project. Dad quizzed me on state and provience capitals, and we actually listened to some of my music over the car radio... and no one complained! That would be a first. (Although Daniel didn't seem to happy that it was techno.)
Once the kids bound for camp were out of the car, we continued to Canada. We went through Ohio, into Michigan where we took the bridge across the water and into Canada. We got through customs alright and I practiced using "washrooms" in place of "restrooms" or "bathrooms". All in all it was a pretty good first day. Tomorrow we start the third leg (from Windsor to Stratford).

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ybg 44, Female, New York, USA - 23 entries

Jun 2010
7:32 PM EDT

Five blissful years later and I can't help but sneak little smile that I'm still so in love...

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1 comment(s) - 01:56 AM - 06/30/2010

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lex 43, Female, California, USA - 137 entries

Jun 2010
10:07 AM PST

Time to myself to think

How do you do it? Have really great friendships and love in your life? Last time I got this all wrong and lost a lot of people in my life but thankfully got it all back slowly with a lot of apologizing and back tracking. But today this little thing happened that Allison and I had plans to go drink it's fathers day and I know that is a hard day for her and she is prob just super pissed off in general today. So I made plans with Kirby at five thinking that would� be fine we would go drink then I could meet him later but she got pretty upset with me so I changed my date with Kirby to a later day which she didn't ask me to do but I though it was appropriate said I was sorry that I had messed that up and was avaliable today if she wanted to still hang out and I guess she didn't next time I prob won't cancel my plans with Kirby cause I did really want to see him but now I have some time to myself tonight :) which is prob much needed anyway but still it got me� to thinking and druged up all this emotion from Alex crap about how lonely I felt with him when I had no friends and this small instace that prob wasn't even a big deal I blew up in my head but it's still a question to be asked I've seen it too many times with others and I've even done it. You start getting serious with someone and you really loose your female friends and they really resent you for that........How to avoid it this time around? I think it's about being open with Kirby about how important these relationships are to me and not to negate on any plans with the girls even if they are tentative. Man i can't tell you how much I hate that I did that don't want to fall back into old patterns that's for sure but it seems to be tricky business.....

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swordbearer 70, Male, New York, USA - 21 entries

Jun 2010
12:32 AM EDT

How retirement feels to a man with no money.

It's been a little over 5 weeks since I retired and I see the benefits and shortcomings of living on one's own schedule. I feel the freedom and ability to flex to anything I need or want to do. But at the same time I need to constantly be creating schedules for myself to remain busy and productive, else boredom WOULD set in. I feel no special pressure over what day it is, no Monday blues or Friday anxiousness, no Saturday relief or Sunday resolve to start Monday over again. On the other hand, I feel no days at all. Each day blends into the next and I often forget what day IT IS! I have been exercising more in the gym but I haven't lost any weight because more of my day is spent in front of the computer doing my ministry. I clean the house and cook, a nice little house husband. I hope that there is rewards in heaven for this and that the ministry is blessed because of the work in it. I am socially deprived. My wife constantly goes off to work and I am left with no one to talk to. I am despirate for other folks to talk to. But the good side of that is that I am spared the constant over and over c

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behind_blue_eyes921 49, Female, Virginia, USA - 412 entries

Jun 2010
5:33 AM EST

Today is my Grandpa Dee's birthday..He has been gone almost a year now and I miss him alot...I remember things from time to time about him and I am lucky to have had him in my life for all the years that I did...I love you Grandpa Dee and I miss you so much...

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swordbearer 70, Male, New York, USA - 21 entries

Jun 2010
7:32 AM EDT

How retirement feels to a man with no money.

Tags: busy, lonely, retired, socially deprived

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1 comment(s) - 08:52 AM - 06/28/2010

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